I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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