But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
