You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
