Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
