i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
