i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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