Tell her she can't have a vagina
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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