his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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