I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
