She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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