Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
