Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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