i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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