ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
