she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
