I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
where does the pee come out of this thing
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's never too late to be topless.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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