Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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