There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
