This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
