How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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