porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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