Swine flu. Run for my life!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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