so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
pray to the hookup gods
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
