You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
