you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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