we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
