I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
