he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
