I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
