I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
