he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
