Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
high people should be assigned attendants
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Randomize
