Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
