Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
