Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
