I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
