Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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