Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
