The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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