Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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