Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
