and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
