Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
