do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
