Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
