I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize