drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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