We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
