it was like his penis was on wheels.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
