i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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